Uncle Brian’s Raspberry Ménage A Trois

These exact recipes come from my father’s twin brother, Uncle Brian Davis. A top geezer and fellow Jersey City Urban Degenerate. When I were a wee lad, a friend of our family by the name of Joe Seruda used to grow raspberries in his back yard on Condict Street, Jersey City. To this day, I am baffled that he could grow anything in a town that is often called the armpit of America.

I can recall many a hot summer evening  running amok over in Joe’s backyard on a picking frenzy, devouring 2 or 3 berries for every 1 that I managed to drop in the bag. Whatever I had left over, I’d finish off out on the stoop with ice cream, watching fireflies work their magic and listening to my old man talking total shite about boxing, basketball and local politics with Joe, my Godfather Wayne and my Uncle Brian.

In later years, I found out that I wasn’t the only greedy little bollix consuming all of Joe Seruda’s raspberries. The Uncle was at it too. But he had the wisdom to use them more wisely – by lashing into them gargoyle and making a puree and some vinegar.

This time of the year fresh raspberries are in full flight, but a bag of frozen ones has an average price of about €3. With that one single purchase you can energize any salad, make thrifty desserts look dead posh and put instant class into the mankiest of Vodkas. Here’s how.

RASPBERRY PUREE

• Get a bag of frozen raspberries (most supermarkets do them, try Lidl) and blend them at high speed in a food processor. The seeds will not be ground up.
• Force the puree through a sieve fine enough to catch the seeds but don’t throw them away.
• Stick the puree in a jar and serve it on something like an ice cream dessert by drizzling it on with a spoon.

RASPBERRY VODKA

• Take the seeds from the recipe above and place them in a bowl. Do not wash the sieve yet.
• Pour a litre of Vodka through the sieve and stir well into the bowl. Taste for strength, that part is up to you. If you’re a wuss, mix some Cranberry juice in.
• When sober, strain the Vodka through the same sieve but again, don’t throw away those seeds.
• Bottle the vodka and leave for at least 24 hours, so do this a day in advance if you’re keen to get your gargle on.

RASPBERRY VINEGAR

• Take the boozy seeds from recipe above and put them in a pot.
• Pour a pint of white vinegar on them and stir it up with half a teaspoon of sugar. Heat it until it just starts to boil, then let it cool.
• Strain for the last time. Bottle the vinegar in a fancy container. You can make a meal with this by frying 2 chicken fillets, wait for them to cool, slice them up and serve on a bed of fresh baby spinach, half a sliced cucumber, a few fresh or thawed out frozen raspberries, some crumbled feta cheese and some sunflower seeds. Drizzle a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of vinegar on top and mix it all up in a bowl. If you want to make it in advance don’t put the oil and vinegar on until you are ready to serve.