Like a moth to a flame, I am always drawn to booze related news stories. This week I got word from Bangkok that their stocks of Guinness will soon run out and may not be replaced. Irish pubs in Bangers and other tourist areas in Thailand are having mickey fits. The distibutor will no longer be importing it from the nearest brewery in Malaysia, as apparently they have deliberately kept the price low to get the Thai punters keen and are now looking at hiking it up. This is the kind of severe business tactic that Crack dealers in late 1980’s New Jersey used to apply.
Their only options at present, are to import the black goo from Australia which would be equally expensive or to start shipping in a completely different stout. Bit of a pain in the bollix really.
And just when I was taking all that in, I read about the James’ Gate Evil Scientist boys concocting a Black Lager.
Their track record for developing new products has not been the Mae West. Especially their micro brews and woegeously brutal lite Guinness. But it makes sense to start capitalizing on the Guinness brand again. Even before they spent a gazillion euros on Arthur’s Day, the black stuff had started making a mad comeback. That definitely was all down to the recession. Us Humanoids will always flock back to the old reliables that make us feel better during times of economic crapness. A comforting pint of plain, from a place that we all hold sacred . As the great philosopher Eamonn Mac Eamonn once said, “St James’ Gate. The only place in Dublin where the smell of Guinness is stronger than the smell of shite.”
So what should all the Thai publicans do with their last few scraps of stout? I suggest a large poster campaign spearheaded by the lovely Ailish Mac Ailish, winner of the Moyross Community Games and offer a three course meal made with our favourite Oirish tipple.
As anyone in Marketing will tell you, nothing sells better than novelty and knockers.
ONION, GUINNESS AND CHEDDAR SOUP
INGREDIENTS:
- 1/4 cup butter
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 3 sweet white onions, sliced thinly through a blender if you can
- 3/4 pound of mature red cheddar, grated
- 1 pint of Guinness
- 1 quart vegetable stock
- 3 tablespoons flour
- Pinch of Salt + Pepper to season
- 1 teaspoon dried herbs de Provence
- 1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
- 1 tablespoon of Dalkey mustard
METHOD
Melt the butter and add the oil to a stock pot over medium heat. Heat until butter starts foaming.
Add the onions and stir to separate rings and to coat. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally until onions begin to take on color.
Add flour. Stir to incorporate. Simmer for 5 more minutes .
Add stock and Guinness; bring to a boil.
Reduce heat to simmer. Sprinkle in Tabasco; add herbs, salt, and pepper to taste. Stir in mustard.
One handful at a time, incorporate the cheese into the soup, stirring until it dissolves. Continue until all cheese has been blended in.
Cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Check after 5 or 10 minutes as a great head of foam may have formed. Stir head into the soup, re-cover and continue simmering.
Put some slices of hearty brown bread into each bowl. Using a ladle, scoop way down to the bottom of the pot get lots of the onions and spoon on top of the bread, add two or three ladles of liquid from the top of the pot to the bowl and serve.
GUINNESS BURGERS
INGREDIENTS:
- 1 1/4 lbs of minced beef
- 1 teaspoon of ground pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon Tabasco Sauce
- 1 clove garlic, crushed
- 1 teaspoon of Worcester sauce
- 1/4 cup chili sauce
- 1 Kallo French Onion Stock Cube (Liston’s on Camden St)
- 1/2 cup Guinness stout
- 4 hamburger buns
METHOD:
Preheat oven to 180 degrees
Combine meat, pepper, Tabasco sauce, garlic, chili sauce, dry onion soup cube, and 1½ ozs of Guinness.
Shape into 4 patties.
Bake until brown, about 10 minutes.
Baste with the remaining Guinness.
Continue baking for an additional 10-15 minutes, until well done.
Add your favourite burger garnishes and trimmings. Try some Ballymaloe relish, always a winner.
GUINNESS ICE CREAM FLOAT
INGREDIENTS:
- 2 pints super premium vanilla ice cream like a Ben and Jerry’s or a posh Irish one
- 4 tablespoons of brandy
- 2 tablespoons of crème de Cassis
- 2 chilled cans of Guinness
METHOD:
Divide ice cream among 6 (16-ounce) glasses.
Combine the brandy with the Cassis and pour 1 tablespoon into each glass.
Slowly pour 8 ounces of Guinness into each glass.
Watch the ice cream fizz just like it would with Coke or Fanta when you were a kid. I know that on paper this looks completely ming, but it’s worth a squirt.
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