Look hard enough at any of those old school clips though and you’re bound to see Billy Scurry. When Dubs first started closing their eyes and dancing like they were Zulus (one arm in the air) he was there dropping massive tunes in legendary clubs like Sides and The Temple of Sound. But like my good self, it wasn’t just big beats and easy raver girls that Billy was interested in. He’s always been mad keen on his food and is as well known now for his work in the kitchen as his work behind the decks. That’s why when he is billed on party flyers they call him Billy the Chef.

It would therefore be logical to presume there is no one in Dublin better prepared to give you a top notch post bender comfort food recipe than Billy Scurry. As a seasoned clubber and DJ, he knows how bad your pain will be after EP when you’ve got a brutal hangover from acting the maggot for three days. But his skills as a chef will tell him precisely what you need to help you feel more human again. When I asked Billy what he cooks when he is in the horrors, this is what he gave me. He calls it “Aftermash for 2”. It’s deadly.  Perfect for some post Electric Picnic comfort food.

AFTERMASH FOR 2 BY BILLY SCURRY

Smoked Haddock with White Pudding Mash, Spinach and Poached egg.

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 large pieces of natural smoked haddock
• 6 large rooster potatoes
• 300g white pudding
• 500g spinach
• 1L milk
• 3 bay leaves
• 10 white peppercorns
• 3 cloves garlic
• knob of butter

METHOD:

• Steam the potatoes until soft, let them cool and peel them, then put them through a mouli or potato ricer. Alternatively, you can just mash them up, but not too much.
• Slice the pudding, fry until golden on each side, put to one side.
• Melt butter and add potatoes to the some milk a little at a time until desired fluffiness is achieved, season with salt and pepper and keep warm.
• While doing potatoes bring wide pan of milk to a simmer with the garlic, bay leaf and white peppercorns. Add fish in after 5 mins and poach lightly.
• Whilst this is happening bring a pot of water to the boil for the eggs and heat a pan with some butter for the spinach.
• Put the potatoes back on the heat, not too high, and crumble pudding in and give it a good whipping, drop eggs into boiling water and throw spinach into the pan.
• Remove fish from poaching liquor and add a little to potatoes.
• Spoon potatoes onto plate, top with spinach, then the fish and the poached egg…..Voila.

SERVE WITH:

If you can still stomach it, a decent French white wine. Otherwise, keep the 7up coming. It’s great for getting the blood sugar levels at a decent rate again when you’re still feeling ropey.

Billy just played at Electric Elephant in Croatia last weekend and is a resident DJ in the Bia Bar.

I was in Hill 16 for that match. It had been a while since I was  last entrenched there for a Dubs  game. Big Ignorant Fuckers From Offaly are nothing compared to some of the degenerate junkie mankbags in blue.  There is surely no hatred more intense than the provincial variety, especially with scumbag Dubs, who obviously can’t stand anybody. One topless madoutofit right next to me quite literally came close to exploding with vitriol when Cork scored their final point against the boys in blue. I could be mistaken, but I’m quite sure his exact words were, “FUCK OFF! FUCK YOU! CORK’S FUCKIN THAT WAY!” Thankfully for all  concerned, no red shirts were in ear shot.

These are the true lowlifes of Ireland, yet we Dubs look down on poor defenseless souls like BIFFO’s. But to be fair, that’s our God given right, because we are better than them, yet that’s another day’s discussion… One particular individual from Offaly (it would not be fair to call him a BIFFO) who I’ve always got on with is Mundy. We were introduced on the stage of The Sugar Club at about 5am after a Heineken Green Energy wrap party  many, many moons ago. There were one or two kegs left over and somebody had to finish them off. An impromptu session with about a dozen drunken musicians and bartenders kicked off and it didn’t end til the cleaners turfed us all out.

I’d like to think that both Mundy and I are wiser now, but we’re probably not.  Given half a chance to demolish a couple of kegs of Heino and either one of us would run amok on it. Yet we’re both probably better at the soakage that should ideally happen beforehand. This week’s recipe is proof.

Mundy’s Prawns with Spinach, Rocket and Spaghetti Aioli

The Birr native loves his crustaceans.  He pan fries them and lashes
them in with some fresh rocket and spinach and serves it with some
spaghetti. When washing the prawns, he points out that it is essential
to remove what looks like the spine, as it is actually something that
is far more unpleasant. It’s shite. As they would say in Offaly, or anywhere else in Ireland for that matter.

INGREDIENTS:

1 red chilli
2 or 3 cloves of garlic
3 stalks of fresh parsley
1 bag of rocket
1 bag of baby spinach
Half a pack of spaghetti, the thin variety called spaghettini is best
20 fresh prawns
Juice of half a lemon
Extra virgin olive oil
Knob of butter
Nice bottle of white wine, whatever you reckon works best with fish
A pinch of salt and pepper

METHOD:
Finely chop the garlic, chilli and parsley separately and leave aside,
it should look the Italian flag, or the Mexican even!
Clean all the prawns by washing them in cold water
Boil a pot of cold water with a bit of salt and add the pasta when water boils.
Add the red, white and green to a hot pan of melted knob of butter and
cook for 4 mins until it’s all softened.
Now add the prawns for 2 mins, then the bag of rocket and baby spinach.
The Prawns should take on a lovely orange colour.
Add a splash of the white wine that you are going to serve with it and season
with salt, black pepper and lemon juice.
Strain the pasta but keep a little bit of the water.
Add the pasta to the pan with some extra virgin olive oil and the
pasta water. Mix the ingredients through the spaghettini and serve
straight away with a little really fresh focaccia if that floats your
curragh like.

Photos from The Dubliner Magazine

http://www.mundy.ie

I recently had the great fortune to attend a beginner’s curing and smoking course over in Dun Laoighre with Hick’s Pork Butchers.  Myself and about another 10 carnivorous nutjobs (one of whom was definitely a sociopathic serial killer, but then again he probably thought I was one too what with my probing questions about body parts)  were in attendance as Ed Hick  showed us how to take a lump of meat and cure or smoke it. Or both. After a few hours we were all sent off on our merry way with a  nice chunk of pig flesh, an instruction sheet, some extra curing salts (enough for a xmas ham) and a bag of wood chips for smoking. Sure what else would you be  doing on a Saturday afternoon?

And now, 5 weeks later, I’ve got a kilo of genuine Crumlin bacon to play around with. No better time to get stuck into a good rasher and a ride methinks. Dublin 12’s version of the Surf n Turf.  You gotta get some nice big jumbo prawns, reef the heads and shells off them, devein them with a small sharp knife and give them all a quick rinse. Then you wrap them in some thinly sliced bacon and skewer them for the barbie. Get stuck into them with a salad or just wolf them down on their own.

A RASHER AND A RIDE, CRUMLIN SURF AND TURF SALAD WITH DALKEY DRESSING

INGREDIENTS:

Large Prawns, as many as you need

One thinly sliced rasher per prawn

Dalkey Dressing: 1 tablespoon Dalkey mustard, 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 3 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar, 2 cloves of garlic minced, pinch of freshly ground pepper and 1/2 cup of olive oil.

1 head of Iceberg lettuce, sliced finely

1 fistful of baby potatoes

1 finely chopped shallot

1 heaped tablespoon of sunflower seeds

1 stick of celery, slice finely in diagonal cuts

1 teaspoon of finely chopped chives, to garnish

METHOD:

Get all the ingredients for the dressing and blitz it all up in a blender.This makes quite a lot but it keeps for ages so just lash it into a jar.

Boil or steam the spuds with the skins on them. Slice thinly, drop them in a bowl with the shallot and smother in the dressing while still warm.

Dry fry the sunflower seeds in a pan, til they’re slightly toasted.

Prep the prawns as above. Wrap one slice of bacon around the exposed flesh of each prawn. Then skewer each one with a cocktail stick or do three of them together on a longer stick.

Barbecue them or put them under the grill.

Mix the spuds with the lettuce, seeds and celery. Place the prawns on top.  Sprinkle with chives on the whole dish. Serve with a bloody mary.

The story goes that he was up in court for the second time, on a charge for interfering with a certain barnyard animal. He’s found guilty. Upon sentencing, the judge turns round to Gus and says:

“Mr. Kearney. This is a most heinous crime, one that you’ve been charged with not once, but twice. What do you have to say in your defense?”

“It backed into me your honour.”

I’ve been telling that yarn for so long now that the very mention of Wicklow brings on images of a village idiot making sweet, sweet love to a mule. Unfair, I know. Especially to this week’s contributor, SJ Wai, the lead singer from Dirty Epics who hails from The Garden of Ireland herself.

When I initially asked SJ to share a recipe, she got all excited and started telling me about her pan fried Chinese dumplings.  I proceeded to tell  her about the version that I had already uploaded. The two recipes appeared to be identical. If looks could kill…. Thankfully, she had other culinary treats within her arsenal. Namely, a fantastic take on the Basque dish Gambas Pil Pil,  SJ’s extra addition is some crab claws.   Fresh, zingy, spicy seafood. What’s not to like?

SJ Wai’s Garlic and Chilli Gambas & Crab Claws

Gambas can be purchased fresh in any good fishmonger. SJ  favours Kish in Smithfield for quality and price. Crab claws are also available there in cooked packets of approximately a dozen.

Photo taken from The Dubliner magazine.

INGREDIENTS (serves 2) :

8 fresh whole gambas

(to ensure freshness when purchasing have a sniff. If they’re a bit on the fishy side, beware, but if their eyes are still wet and and unshrivelled and they don’t smell too strong, you’re good to go)

One packet of crab claws

A slice of butter about an inch and a bit thick

Some fresh green and red chillis

About 4/5 cloves of fresh garlic

White and black pepper

Salt

8/10  cherry tomatoes

Cayenne pepper

1 Lemon

METHOD:

• First rinse the gambas under fresh water.
• Finely slice the garlic cloves. If you’re a bit worried about garlic breath, keep them chunky so you can avoid them easily!
• Finely slice the chilli peppers.
• Heat a big skillet and add the butter being careful not to burn it.
• Add the chillies.
• Add in the gambas first. It’s better to keep them whole so you get a much stronger flavour. Keep a lid on them to prevent them drying out.
• If you want you can add a little water. Its nice to have plenty of sauce for dipping bread.
• Add in the cherry tomatoes and the seasoning. I like lots of pepper in mine. Be careful not too make it too spicy though.
• Throw in the crab claws when the gambas are nearly done. Keep the lid on it so its juicy and full of flavour.
• Cooking should take no longer than 10  minutes depending on the size of the gambas. The cherry tomatoes should be really squishy.

To serve: pop the skillet in the middle of the table and squeeze some lemon juice over it. Slice some crusty bread for dipping and maybe enjoy a nice glass of gently chilled Beaujolais.

Check out Dirty Epics when they’re playing on Arthur’s Day on September 23rd.

I recently watched an outstanding documentary about Hank Williams, a man who could bare his heart and soul so poignantly in his incredible work of songs. One of his band members, now in his late 70’s, spoke about a time when he asked Hank about what inspired him to write so openly and passionately. Hank replied, “Man, if you wanna make it, ya can’t fake it.” I thought that was so brilliantly simple. And that’s why over 50 years after his death, his music and lyrics are as striking today as they were when he originally wrote them. After watching the documentary, I was left feeling that authenticity and emotional honesty must have a serious importance in our lives. Otherwise we are indeed, empty vessels.

Yet, flicking through channels afterwards, any inspiration I took from Hank was quickly poisoned. I watched the plastically altered monstrosities Caprice and Jordan take prime time viewing and saw a few urban/r n b videos on MTV.  The music was particularly vexing.  It dawned on me that every modern r n b song has a lead vocal in the chorus that has been doctored by a vocoder, in the style of Cher’s “Life After Love”.

Modern life is rapidly becoming more phony. Guys take steroids and protein pills, to buff themselves up. Girls lash on fake tan every time they go to a wedding. And most number 1 songs have robot voices.

That’s why one must always seek the real deal.  So you can compare and contrast the genuine article to the fake shit. Thankfully, authenticity can still be found in food. And it rarely gets better than this, an absolutely amazing Thai Dish called Lap Moo. And because all the ingredients are  dry fried or boiled through, it also happens to be a very healthy option. My old pal, Bilbo Bangkok gave me the recipe and showed me in person how to make it. Sadly, I have yet to see it appear on any Thai restaurant menu. I suppose that probably makes it more authentic. Please give this a go, it is so fucking tasty.

LAP MOO – AN AUTHENTIC THAI DISH

INGREDIENTS: ANY OF THE ASIAN INGREDIENTS LISTED CAN BE BOUGHT IN EITHER OF THE ASIAN FOOD MARKETS ON GEORGE’S ST OR DRURY ST

-  400 grams of ground pork.

- A good handful of plain jasmine rice

- A Handful of torn mint leaves

- 8 shallots finely chopped (set aside 3 for the lemongrass paste)

- 3 spring onions finely chopped

-  2 finely chopped Kaffir lime leaves

- 1 finger sized chili deseeded and finely chopped

- 2 large cloves of garlic finely chopped

- 4 coin-size slices of galangal

-  3 tablespoons of fish sauce

-  1 long stalk of lemongrass finely chopped

-  3 limes

METHOD:

In a wok, using no oil, dry fry/toast the jasmine rice for about 5 minutes on a low heat. Make sure the heat is low or it will burn and pop like popcorn. When the rice is nicely toasted, transfer to a pestle and mortar and pound the shit out of it. Set aside when finished.

Now for the paste. In the same wok dry fry/roast the lemongrass, garlic, 2 shallots, and the 2 finely chopped kaffir-lime leaves until toasted. Transfer to pestle and mortar and pound the shit out of it like the rice.

Cut up your limes into quarter segments and arrange on a plate along with the remaining shallots, torn mint leaves, chopped chili, and spring onion. Arrange them as decoratively as you can.  These are mixed with the pork after it is cooked by the boiling water and lime.

Empty the ground pork into a fine sieve. And pour 1 -2 cups of boiling water through it. Make sure the meat is all white and cooked properly by the water. Catch the run-off in a container as this is a basic stock to wet the dish with later. The pork should start to turn white. Transfer to a mixing container. Now it’s time to add the rest of the ingredients.

First squeeze in the limes, constantly mixing with your hands. Then throw in the lemongrass paste, mix for 10 seconds, half of the ground rice powder, mix for 10 seconds, Shallots, 10 seconds, fish sauce, 10 seconds, half a teaspoon of sugar and the remaining rice powder, 15 seconds, and then finally all the mint and spring onion. If you prefer it wetter, lash in a few tablespoons of the stock. Garnish with Mint and whole chilies.

SERVE WITH:

Some cucumber segments sliced lengthways, and boiled or steamed jasmine rice. And ideally, loads of Singha Thai beer.

Everyone could see what was going down, but nobody bothered their holes to help the little buggers out. Their mammy already made good headway and was a few feet onto the road. Yet shockingly, nobody came to their assistance.  I threw down me bike, walked into the middle of the road and went to assist the wee birdies by stopping the oncoming cars. Once I nudged one or two of them off the path, the rest followed suit.

After some dirty looks and impolite hand gestures from yours truly,  the drivers around us had discontinued their aggressive bleeting.  I held up the mother’s march from the rear, making sure they had a safe passage across the hectic street, snapping away on my mobile to capture the moment.

Success! The mother and all 12 of her lovely little ducklings got across without any issues!

It was at that point that all her offspring started jumping into the water. Mission fully accomplished. Her newborn could embrace the wild and wonderful world around them, but in the more natural habitat of the Grand Canal.

I felt satisfied that they had achieved satisfactory safety, so I reached into the murky waters, grabbed the mother duck by the beak and quickly strangled her.  With a nice, fat warm duck on my shoulders  I rushed home to pluck the beast’s feathers and prepare dinner. That night we feasted on:

THE SURPRISE CURRY

INGREDIENTS:

• Get a  roasted duck from an Asian Food Store. Get it de-boned and cut it into 1 inch strips
• 2 1/2 cups canned coconut milk
• 10 cherry tomatoes
• Juice of half  a lime
• 1 cup of chopped fresh pineapple
• 1 cup of chopped aubergine
• 4 fresh kaffir lime leaves, torn roughly
• 2 tablespoons of Thai fish sauce
• 1 tsp sugar
• 3 tbsp of red curry paste Coriander leaves to garnish
• 1/2 cup of chicken stock
• 1 tablespoon of peanut oil
• Coriander leaves to garnish

METHOD

-  Put vegetable oil into wok over medium heat and fry up the curry paste.

- Add 3/4 cups coconut milk and stir to mix thoroughly and then throw in the duck.

- Lash in the remaining coconut milk, water,  aubergine, tomatoes, pineapple, kaffir lime leaves, salt, sugar and fish sauce.  Bring to a boil and remove quickly from the heat. Serve it with some boiled or steamed jasmine rice and garnish with some coriander leaves.