Booking The Cooks @ Body & Soul

For the last year or so,  I have shared with you, the culinary creations of many a rock band, DJ, comedian and music legend. And while their love and passion for food might come across in their recipes, we have never been made sure that they can actually cook a meal, until now. I am taking the site to the live stage this summer.  So what morons are letting me loose near their public? Well it all kicks off in Ballinlough Castle on June 19th….and may very well end up with me in jail.

On Sunday at 12pm in Casa Habana at Body & Soul, the comedian and writer Jarlath Regan will be pitting his kitchen skills in a cook off against the Leviathan satirist and Late Late Show House Band singer, Paddy Cullivan. The event will be named after my column in The Ticket: Booking The Cooks @ Body & Soul.

As it will be the second day of the festival and everyone should feel a little worse for wear, we thought it best if each of the lads could recreate their ultimate hangover breakfast.  Three lucky punters from the audience will get to pick which man wins. The winner gets to pick a song for the loser to sing karaoke style. Here’s what they’ll both be cooking.

Jarlath’s Famous Fry Down & Take It Easy Eggs on Bread

INGREDIENTS:

4 x Tesco Apple Sausages (skinless to prevent pork explosion)

2 x Large free range eggs

2 x Kelly’s “White in Black” Puddings, 2 x Slices of white batch loaf

50 x Paper Towels (To soak up unwanted fat)

1 x Portion of regret

1 x Frying pan preheated to the temperature of the earth’s core

1 x Dose of Uniflu cold and flu remedy

1 x Bottle of Lucozade Sport

1 x 4 litre bottle of still water.

METHOD:

Fry sausages and pudding together until brown. Break eggs into pan making a weird omelette -looking thing. Consume all fluids and Uniflu while allowing to cook.  At regular intervals look into the distance while your mind dredges up images from the night before in rich techni-colour.  Once the contents of the pan are as hard as a frizz bee , take out of pan and dry thoroughly using towels.  Place in between two slices of batch loaf. Add ketchup to taste. Devour. Regret.

Paddy’s Schizo Bagel

INGREDIENTS:

Paddy feels that his hangover breakfast is for those who don’t believe in having to choose between two things on a menu. He feels that menus are not things to select stuff from -they are merely pamphlets to let you know what is coming.  For Paddy, when a waiter hands you a menu, the only way to respond is: ‘That’s all looks in order; Proceed.’

INGREDIENTS:

One plain bagel

2 cuts of smoked salmon

cream cheese

2 eggs

capers

a squeeze of lemon Juice

a tablespoon of freshly chopped dill and 2 litres of orange juice

METHOD:

Toast your bagel, butter one side and on the other, lather the cream cheese on in huge amounts, not thinly like a B+B owner would.  Cook the eggs like Stanley Tucci did in that film “Big Night”, place them on the buttered side.  Drop the salmon on the cream cheese side and sprinkle on the capers and lemon juice. Wash down with all of the OJ.

Booking The Cooks at Body & Soul will also feature a blind taste test for the audience to get involved in. The winner will receive a one night crash course in cocktail making for 12 people in The Sugar Club.

In other fantabulous festival related news, my good mates Sharon + Amo from Queens of Neon are staging a 5 course banquet at Body & Soul. They have paired up with Wildside Catering to serve a lavish feast in surroundings that will be meticulously smothered in glamour and glitz.

Anyone who went to the Clonakilty By Candlelight events that they put on recently will know how much craic this will be.  A wicked, luxurious meal in the grounds of a castle while the festival gently goes fucking bananas around you. Really, what’s not to like? If you need a visual aid to get a better feel for what they’re trying to do, check out this clip.

Sharon + Amo – it’s hard to believe that they were both presidents of Young Fianna Fáil. I guess the 60’s were a mad time though.