As fond as I am of the fairer sex, cooking for them can often bring on considerable frustration. There is quite simply, nothing more irritating than a woman who will eat a burger but for some reason won’t eat a steak? Or they’ll eat a chicken goujon but never a wing? In my completely biased and very male opinion, only women ever do that. Fact.
Women are also ten times more likely than men to refuse something that is still on the bone. As in a nice chop or a full fish, especially with the head still intact. Openly carnivorous women in modern western societies, are as rare as mannerly Parisian waiters. I recently watched an episode of “Come Dine With Me” which featured a lady who admitted to being such a meat lover that, “when my dog dies, he won’t be buried. He’ll be cooked and eaten.” Respect. Did I mention that she was also a burlesque dancer? Mucho respecto.
There is actually relatively practical point that I can make here through the medium of my blokey rant and that would be:
If you have a female guest over, it’s very important to check beforehand how much of a carnivore she is. You don’t want to present her with a dirty big €12 T-bone that’s oozing sticky juices and then she suddenly says, “I only really like meat when it doesn’t resemble what it looked like when it was still alive. The green beans look lovely though!” When entertaining ladies, get the all clear beforehand. And then prepare the following.
A wicked Irish ribeye steak seasoned with my spicy rub
- 2 tablespoons black pepper
- 2 tablespoons paprika
- 1 tablespoon of a decent sea salt
- 1 tablespoon granulated or dried garlic (most Pakistani or Arabic food stores will stock this)
- 1 tablespoon granulated or dried onion (again most Pakistani or Arabic food stores)
- 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
- 1 tablespoon of lightly toasted caraway seeds (do this in a dry wok or pan)
- 3 small shallots, sliced thinly
- Two 8 oz Irish ribeye steaks
- A little bit of olive oil
Get a clean jar. Empty everything into it except the shallots. Close the lid tightly. Shake it all up for about half a minute.
Heat up a dry wok, ie with no oil in it, slowly toast the shallots until they are all nicely browned. Chop them up finely and set aside.
I love ribeyes steaks. Fillets are boring. They’re dry and always need a sauce. A decent ribeye cooked to medium on a griddle pan or barbie that’s seasoned with this steak rub is all you need.
Get your griddle pan or barbie as hot as you possibly can. Tenderize the steak with a fork by stabbing it loads of times on a board. Then massage a little olive oil into it.
Throw the steak on for about a minute, then turn it. There should be some nice charred lines going along it. Put about half a teaspoon of the spice mix onto this side of the steak by rubbing it on with a knife or fork. Let the other side cook for about a minute, then turn it over with a fork but let the lines of the pan or barbie criss-cross the other way so that you’ll be left diagonal charred lines on the steak. Repeat with the other side of the steak so that each side has the same amount of seasoning and is left with the same char lines.
Let it sit for a few minutes before you get stuck in and right before you do, sprinkle generously with the dry fried shallots. Serve it with some steamed baby spuds and roasted baby tomatoes for a bit of sweetness.
I have put this wee recipe together with the view of trying to get in on a competition that The Irish Food Bloggers are staging. There’s a free place going at a European Food Bloggers convention in Weimar, Germany. The last time I got to practice my German was at a bierfest and it got exceptionally messy, in a major way. It would be nice to re-visit Deutschland under more civilized conditions…