Every media source will be discussing the following topics incessantly over the next month:
- New Fad Diets like the Bosnojan Berry Breakfast
- Weight Loss Programs that will guarantee you lose 5 stone if you run a marathon every day
- Exotic sounding health spas that involve Shamans smoking mosquitoes and drinking dandelion bath water
It is all bullshit, sold to us by a beauty regime that prey not only on our day to day insecurities, but on the ones that have been heightened by gorging at Chrimbo. There is a good chance at this point in time that you may have acted the complete maggot during the festive break and you will more than likely be doing the same tonight for New Year’s Eve. You will probably feel dreadful tomorrow as a 2 week, guilt riddled hangover kicks in. Do not be tempted to live off cabbage water or get yourself a coffee colonic. These are only for the feeble minded and weak. All you need to feel better for 2011, is some regular exercise and a shitload of spicy food. Green chillies in your morning eggs and two daily helpings of my Thai Penicillin for the rest of the month and you’ll be sorted for February. This is a variation on my Jewish penicillin, it has the same comforting benefits but with plenty of Thai spices and flavors to give it a new attitude.
INGREDIENTS: ANYTHING YOU DON’T IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZE CAN BE PURCHASED AT AN ASIAN STORE
1 whole cornfed chicken
1 whole bulb of garlic. Peel all cloves.
6 carrots, sliced
1 tablespoon of freshly grated ginger
2 tablespoons of very finely chopped galangal
10 chopped shallots
2 red chillies, chopped coarsely
1 tablespoon of sugar
2 tablespoons of fish sauce or light soy sauce
1 can of coconut milk
10 Asian baby corns, cut in half
3 cups of bean sprouts
juice of 1 lime
1 fistful of fresh coriander, chopped coarsely
Your choice of noodles. I like Udon for their thickness. Vietnamese or Thai Rice noodles also work well. In terms of amounts, work off one cup of cooked noodles per serving.
As with practically all of my recipes, get yourself a big fuck off pot. One that will hold a whole chicken and all the ingredients in.
Lob the chicken, garlic, carrots, shallots, chillies, ginger and galangal into the pot and fill it water. Bring it to the boil with the lid off and then reduce the heat to a simmer and put the lid on it for an hour.
Remove the chicken carefully and let it sit for ten minutes so that it cools down a little, you can leave the pot on a low heat with the lid off. When the chicken has cooled down enough for you to touch, remove all the skin. Throw the skin into the pot and whiz it all up with one of them soup blenders or put it all into a food processor. Then throw in the coconut milk, fish sauce, sugar and curry paste and stir it all up until these have all combined with the stock.
Remove all the meat from the chicken with your hands and leave them in little bitesize chunks and slivers. When you’ve done all that, lash the meat into the pot with everything else. Let it cook for another twenty minutes so the flavors can really combine.
As that is cooking, you can get your noodles on in a separate pot. When they are done, add them into the chicken. Wash the bean sprouts and Asian baby corn and add them to the soup. Then you lob in the coriander and lime juice and quickly serve.
Finally, if yez are getting stuck into the bubbly tonight then might I suggest you try your hand at making a few Kir Léthales, taken from the second episode in The Sugar Club’s 2 Minute Cocktail series. It’s an exceptionally tasty champagne cocktail, if I do say so meself…
And Happy Bleedin’ New Year!