As fond as I am of the fairer sex, cooking for them can often be a right pain in the swiss. There is quite simply, nothing more irritating than a woman who will eat a burger but for some reason won’t eat a steak? Or they’ll eat a chicken goujon but never a wing? Only women ever do that, FACT.
Women are also ten times more likely than men to refuse something that is still on the bone. As in a nice chop or a full fish, especially with the head still intact. Openly carnivorous women in modern western societies, are as rare as mannerly Parisian waiters. A recent episode of “Come Dine With Me” featured a lady who admitted to being such a meat lover that,”when my dog dies, he won’t be buried. He’ll be cooked and eaten.” Respect. My kind of bird. Did I mention that she was also a burlesque dancer? Mucho respecto.
I am not going out of my way here just to do a blokey rant and vent steam. My point is actually a relatively practical one. If you have a female guest, it’s very important to check beforehand how much of a carnivore she is. You don’t want to present her with a dirty big €12 T-bone that’s oozing sticky juices and then she suddenly says, “I only really like meat when it doesn’t resemble what it looked like when it was still alive. The green beans look lovely though!” When entertaining ladies, get the all clear beforehand. And then prepare the following.
- 2 tablespoons black pepper
- 2 tablespoons paprika
- 1 tablespoon of a decent sea salt
- 1 tablespoon granulated or dried garlic (most Pakistani or Arabic food stores will stock this)
- 1 tablespoon granulated or dried onion (again most Pakistani or Arabic food stores)
- 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
- 1 tablespoon of caraway seeds
- 3 small shallots, sliced thinly
Get a clean jar. Empty everything into it except the shallots. Close the lid tightly. Shake it all up for about half a minute.
Heat up a dry wok, ie with no oil in it, slowly toast the shallots until they are all nicely browned. Chop them up finely and mix them up with the rest of the rub and again shake.
I love ribeyes steaks. Fillets are boring. They’re dry and always need a sauce. A decent ribeye cooked to medium on a griddle pan or barbie that’s seasoned with this steak rub is all you need.
Get your griddle pan or barbie as hot as you possibly can. Tenderize the steak with a fork by stabbing it loads of times on a board. Then massage a little olive oil into it.
Throw the steak on for about a minute, then turn it. There should some nice charred lines going along it. Put about 1 – 2 teaspoons of the spice mix onto this side of the steak by rubbing it on with a knife or something. Let the other side cook for about a minute, then turn it over with a fork but let the lines of the pan or barbie criss-cross the other way so that you’ll be left diagonal charred lines on the steak. Repeat with the other side of the steak so that each side has the same amount of seasoning and is left with the same char lines.
Let it sit for a few minutes before you get stuck in.