About ten years ago when I was still living in Bishopsmede on Clanbrassil St, I used to knock into a Jewish Kosher butcher by the name of Ehrlich who was operating on the other side of my apartment block. He was a miserable auld shite but I loved havin’ the craic with him. Every time I’d go in, I’d ask him if my delivery for Matzo Balls had come in or not. With a laboured grin, he’d humour me with my annoying banter out of sheer boredom. Not once did I ever see anyone else darken his doorstep.
I always had a fond enough memory of him though, that was until I recently met an Israeli lady who told how much of a bollix he was. She had a male Israeli friend who would stop by his shop every week for supplies. When he told Ehrlich that he was getting married to an Irish girl, Ehrlich freaked out. “Don’t do it! Don’t marry a shikshe (derogatory term for non Jewish female)! I’ll give you the airfare to go back to Tel Aviv to find a wife!” Hang out a minute there fella. Slag off the Irish lads all you like, but leave the women folk out. I’d love to see what would happen if he called Nell McCafferty a shikshe.
Couldn’t tell you if Ehrlich is still knockin’ round today or not, but I would love to see his face as he walks round the old neighbourhood now. If he doesn’t hold the Irish up in much regard, then God only knows what he must think of all the Muslims who have moved in around there. Not so long ago, Portobello and many of it’s nearby streets were collectively called Mini Jerusalem by local gentile Dubs. These days they’re more likely to tag that area as The Gaza Strip. Especially on Clanbrassil Street. In fact Ehrlich’s exact location is now a Pakistani Food Store.
Luckily for me, that part of town is still very much in my radar. After you’ve poisoned your liver with double figures of pints, there is nothing quite so satisfying as a curry from “Bu Ali” or a Chicken Tikka Roll from “Kebabish.” And when I’m not so inebriated, I actually buy a lot of bits and pieces like rice and spices from the food delis. They are ridiculously cheap, even by Aldi’s standards.
So that’s why I thought I’d dedicate a recipe to the new batch of non Christians to be living and working on Clanbrassil Street. A very pleasant staff member in Kebabish told me that the best thing on their menu was the Shami Kebabs, little patties of minced lamb mixed with lentils and spices that are pan fried. He gave me a website to look at for measurements and said that theirs were very similar. Nice one for that, certainly a lot friendlier than that mean old Ehrlich lad. These are really tasty, give them a go.
SHAMI LAMB KEBABS
INGREDIENTS:
* 500 gm. mince lamb meat.
* 125 gm. (1 1/2 average sized tea cup) chana dal (this comes in a tin in all Eastern food stores)
* 2 onions (200-250 gm.) peeled and roughly chopped
* 3-4 cloves of garlic, peeled
* 1 inch piece of ginger, peeled and roughly chopped
* 1 tsp. cumin seeds
* 2 tsp. coriander powder or seeds
* 2-3 dry red chilies or 1/4 tsp. powder
* Salt to taste
* 1/2 cup water
* 2 eggs lightly beaten
* A small bunch of coriander leaves and mint leaves finely chopped
* 1 tablespoon of Garam Masala
* Oil for pan frying
METHOD:
Wash and soak the dal for 30 minutes. Drain.
Place all ingredients in a pan, except the egg, coriander and mint leaves. Cook until meat and dal are done through and all the water is absorbed. You can cook these in a pressure cooker, for 2 pressures or 5 minutes under full pressure. To finish off, stir fry on high until all the liquid has evaporated and the meat looks quite dry.
Allow to cool. Grind in a food processor until smooth.
Add 2 lightly beaten eggs, coriander and mint leaves. Mix well. Leave covered in the fridge for an hour or two or even overnight for the mix to set a little.
Divide into 12-15 portions and shape like small hamburgers. Size and shape is your choice.
Heat a little oil in a non-stick frying pan. It is always a good idea to test fry one kebab first. If it is too difficult to hold together, add 1-2 tbs. of gram flour (chickpea flour, again any Asian store) to the mix before continuing with the rest. Shallow fry all kebabs until brown and crisp on both sides.
These would be generally regarded as an appetizer. Serve them with some freshly sliced onions and tomatoes. Follow them with a good curry or biryani and plenty of rice.
If you have Muslim guests, do the politically incorrect thing by wolfing down loads of nice Burgundy with these dishes. But the chances are that won’t work because I have yet to meet a Muslim who does not drink. Seriously, are there Muslims that don’t drink?
